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In the beginning of the Key to Time arc, the White Guardian gives us this gem:Doctor: And what happens to me if I refuse?White Guardian: Nothing.Doctor: What, nothing happens?White Guardian: Yes, nothing at all. Ever.In the episode A Good Man Goes to War, a Sontaran was forced to restore his honor by serving duties as a nurse, prolonging life, rather than allowing them to die in the glory of battle. In the same episode the losing commander is explicitly told by The Doctor to order his troops not to retreat, but run away. He will be known as Colonel Runaway from that day on.In The Return of Doctor Mysterio Lucy Fletcher tortures a SQUEEZE TOY to get information from the Doctor. And IT WORKS. This is especially hilarious since the Doctor had just endured over four billion years of being horrifically and painfully murdered over and over again at the hands of the Time Lords without giving up anything, but squeezing poor Mr Huffle was too much for him to bear.Lucy Fletcher: This is Mr. Huffle. Mr. Huffle feels pain.The Drew Carey ShowYou know what happened to the last guy who played a game of Im not touching the Devil? He wound up wiping a flys mouth for all eternity.In another episode, Mimi blasted the Van Halen song Panama over and over for several days to attempt to drive Drew out of his house.When Mimi pulls a prank by putting Drews obituary in the paper, it activates his Doomsday Prank on her. Mimi is handcuffed to a chair and forced to watch four Drew lookalikes in only their underwear dance to Im Too Sexy.In Friends , there was one episode in which Joey forces Chandler to wear blue lipstick as punishment for lying to him. There was also an earlier episode where Joey makes Chandler stay in a wooden box for six hours as punishment for kissing Joeys girlfriend ( his reasons were threefold ). In another episode, Rachel tells Ross to drink a glass of fat to make up for him insulting her (although she stops him when she sees that he was actually going to do it). Ross was harsh to Phoebe, who thought her dead mothers spirit was inside of a cat, so Rachel made Ross apologize to the cat. And yep, all of those make sense in context .Glee :Sue is upset with Will:Sue: I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And on some dark, cold night I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face.Sue also punished her moles failures by revoking their tanning privileges. It causes Santana to burst into tears.Everything Sue does, really...When Will has finally had enough of Sue, he gets her to fall in love with him, mends all the damaged caused by their rivalry, and then dumps her just because he can.In The Good Place , this turns out to be Michaels plan to torture the main four human characters: make them think theyre in Heaven but subtly manipulate things behind the scenes so that they constantly get on each others nerves, are continually reminded of their insecurities and lifes failures, and end up being utterly miserable and stressed in what should be a paradise for them.In the Hannah Montana episode Ready, Set, Dont Drive, Miley gets arrested for driving with an invalid license. She got her license as Hannah Montana because she didnt want to wait two weeks for a retest. Why, you ask? She couldnt handle the embarrassment of showing up to Ambers big party when Amber had her license and she didnt. Does Robbie Ray ground her? Passe! Take away her allowance? Old hat! Instead, he drives her to the big party, and announces over a bullhorn that Miley didnt get her license.On Heroes , Mohinder knows his mortal nemesis Sylar has absorbed the power of superhearing. His hearing is so keen he can hear other peoples breathing and heartbeats, and in fact suffered terrible headaches from the noise. So when Mohinder goes to torture Sylar, what does he do? He strikes a tuning fork and holds it up next to Sylars ear in all of its shrill, discordant glory and lets Sylar scream for mercy.During an episode of Home Improvement , Tim gets himself and his wife lost while driving but stubbornly refuses to ask for directions . To make Tim change his mind, his wife threatens to get up each morning and cut out the sports section of the newspapers they get if he continues to refuse to stop and ask for directions. It works.When a girl comes in with neck pain in Kids, instead of firing Chase for being Voglers Mole , House decides to be creative:House: You, sir, will research all the causes in the universe of neck pain.Chase: The list is, like, two miles long!House: Start with the letter A.When Ron Livingstons global altruist character in TB or not TB orders a press conference on the unfairness of Africas lack of Western medical care, House breaks into his hospital room and increases the heat, turns off the TV, knocks his supplies on the floor and flushes his cell phone down the toilet to simulate the third world environment he obviously wants.On How I Met Your Mother , Barney is a frequent victim of this trope :When Barney loses a slap bet against Marshall, he continuously gets slapped Marshall over and over in several episodes.And after losing yet another bet, Barney was forced to wear Marshalls duckie tie for most of the seventh season.After finding out about Barney and Robins onenight stand, Ted punishes Barney by hitting him in the groin and stops being friends with him. Barney later recieves an even bigger punishment when he is hit by a bus trying to reach Ted in the hospital, although this actually reconciled their friendship.In Woo, Ted nearly loses his dream job of building the new GNB building when Barney hires a band called the Sven Brothers instead before reconsidering Marshalls preposition that Ted is better fit for the job. After Marshall tells Ted that Barney is the reason why he didnt get the job at first, Ted punishes Barney by strapping him to a mechanical bull and deliberately leaves it on making Barney spin uncontrollably. And to add insult to injury, when Barney finally breaks free he is so dizzy he misses out on a chance of having a threeway with two of the Woo Girls.In Magicians Code Part 2, Quinn redecorates everything in Barneys apartment pink as punishment for Barney sneaking off to Atlantic City with Marshall.Combined with a You Are W Hat You Hate situation, Barney has been making fun of Canada so much that he finds out he himself is onequarter Canadian. Robin spends an entire episode teasing him about it as punishment and even tries to make wear a Canadian costume for a Holloween saying shell stop if he does (although Barney doesnt follow through).JAG : After Harm and Mic get into a fight that inadvertently breaks Buds jaw (he stepped in between their simultaneous punches), Admiral Chegwidden offers them nonjudicial punishment. He takes them to an empty building, opens the door, and tells them they are not to leave until they inflict damage and pain on each other equal to what they inflicted on Bud. The next day in court, they both look like they went 10 rounds with the heavyweight champ.In Kamen Rider Decade , Natsumi will respond to anything Tsukasa does to annoy her and I mean anything by hitting him with the Laughing Pressure Point, a thumbjab to the neck that causes him to laugh uncontrollably for the next several minutes. She even hit Tetsuya with it in one episode where she couldnt use it on Tsukasa.On episode of Lizzie McGuire , Matt pretends to have an Imaginary Friend so his parents would buy him what ever he wanted . They punish him by making him wash a number of imaginary animals while the rest of the family watches.Reese in Malcolm in the Middle discovered that he was a natural chef. When he sabotages a cooking contest he wouldve won easily with his natural skill , his parents punish him by banning him from the kitchen for a month, and it works!Damn Bundys from Married... with Children : When Al goes to hell because of a Deal with the Devil , the latter condemns Al to eat Weenie Tots (Which Al loves) for the rest of forever because they will force Al to spend eternity in the bathroom (and we all know how bad this is for Al). When The Devil notices that this has not had the effect he wanted, he proclaims, For the rest of eternity youll never see your family again, causing Al to fall on his knees saying This is heaven. However, the Devil finally manages to come up with a Cool and Unusual Punishment: Forcing Al to continue his normal life forever.He also inflicts some Cool and Unusual Punishments on the rest of his family as well. Bud ends up with claws, which results in him constantly popping his blowup sex dolls. Kelly is turned into a gargoyle, which scares off wouldbe dates. Peggys hands are turned into hooves, which means she cant operate the TV Remote. And Marcy and Jefferson are forced to come over every day and be subjected to Als insults.Some of the bad guys in Medium ended up being punished this way, especially Jeremy and his girlfriend from An Everlasting Love, stuck together as ghosts for all eternity, the lone thing that bound them together (kidnapping and killing young women) gone and the Gold Digger wife from Will The Real Fred Rovick Please Stand Up? who ends up being conned out of her inheritance for which she had murdered her 91yearold husband by the guy she used to corrupt one of the jurors.Mel during one episode of Melissa Joey tells her niece and nephew under her care: Stay out of trouble, or Ill come to your school and kiss you at lunch.Modern Family : Fail to accomplish what youre tasked to do, and Luke will punish you with his water gun. Better have some spare clothes with you if hes supervising your work.During the second to last episode of Season 2 of The Mole , three of the four contestants have to spend one night in a creepy room. One room is a glass box filled with cockroaches and harsh light, the second is a completely dark room with a python slithering around, and the last(and worst) is a completely normal room where the song Tiny Bubbles by Don Ho plays over and over in different iterations(sometimes very slowly, sometimes speeded up, sometimes backwards, etc.)Monty Pythons Flying Circus : Confess, or the Spanish Inquisition will poke you with soft cushions. And if that fails... Cardinal Fang! Fetch... the comfy chair! This might be considered a subversion, since the people tortured in this way are just confused, and do not react as if being tortured. Unlike...Doug Piranha from the Piranha brothers sketch was so scary that grown men would pull their own heads off rather than endure this:Vercotti: He used... Sarcasm. He knew all the tricks dramatic irony, metaphor, pathos, puns, parody, litotes and... Satire. He was vicious.Used in an episode of Mork Mindy , where Mork gets captured by Amazonesque aliens who torture him with massages and the dreaded bubble bath!.Were these the ones commanded by Raquel Welch? Whose character complained about her skimpy silver toned costume, Who could look good in this?Parodied on the VHS cover synopsis for A Muppet Family Christmas : Dont miss it or theyll send you a fruitcake!A Cool and Unusual Punishment was used as the final punchline for a Season Four episode of The Muppet Show (the episode gueststarring Liza Minnelli ). When Statler and Waldorf are caught trying to bump off the Muppets, theyre taken away. Its only after the credits, during their traditional last laugh, that we see their fate: theyre locked in the theater box (complete with bars) and forced to watch the Muppet Show.Statler: How long are we here for?Waldorf: 20 years.Statler: If Id known that judge was giving us the Box , Id have asked for the Chair !Murdoch Mysteries : The Bplot in Murdoch Ahoy starts with a mention of Annie Edison Taylor, the first person to take a trip down Niagara Falls, who is touring with the barrel she rode down the falls in. When her barrel is stolen during an appearance in Toronto, she enlists Crabtrees help. Crabtree discovers that the thieves are a group of university students who stole the barrel as a prank, along with Dr. Graces mounted skeleton Shelley and Constable Jacksons helmet. The boys plead with Crabtree not to arrest them, since the scandal would lead to their being disowned by their families. In lieu of arresting them, Crabtree punishes the boys by forcing them to clean the entire stationhouse from top to bottom, and he insists they write a letter of apology to Ms. Taylor.This is how Michael Kyle would usually punish his kids every time they get out of line in My Wife and Kids .The entire premise of Mystery Science Theater 3000 . The main characters are forced to watch crappy movies as part of an experiment the villain is hoping to discover a film so bad it drives them insane, at which point he will turn it into a Weapon of Mass Destruction .Pearl Forrester gives the crew the especially hellishly godawful film Hobgoblins as a punishment for jumping on her renttoown sofas.Pearl came ohsoclose to succeeding with Invasion of the Neptune Men , which nearly drove Mike and the bots insane. Their spirits were lifted by a visit from Krankor.The original baddest of the bad, Manos The Hands of Fate , a film so terrible that Dr. Forrester apologized for showing it to them.Pearl at one point threatens Mike Nelson with a John Agar film festival as punishment for one of Mike and the bots transgressions, though the threat is not carried out.Parodied by the MythBusters . One of the selected myths for the third viewer special was whether bamboo could grow through a persons body. The setup sequence in the blueprint room featured Adam pretending to be tied to a chair while Jamie said I can keep singing all day.On The Nanny , Maxwell grounds Brighton for trying to sneak past Fran to go to the mall in New Jersey. He then says that Brighton isnt allowed to go to his play premiere, which Brighton didnt want to go to anyway. Brighton is okay with that, until Fran convinces Maxwell to be lenient and let him go to the play.Night Gallery : a hippie finds hes gone to Hell. Hes cool with it and cant wait to see the groovy fire and brimstone and demons...then is horrified to find his custommade Hell is spending eternity with an old couple, watching their nonstop vacation slide show and listening to a milehigh stack of Lawrence Welk records. This setup is also the old couples custommade Heaven.Police, Camera, Action! is not averse to this trope in the Re Tool series presented by Gethin Jones since December 2008. All participants in the show learn the consequences of their driving misdemeanors in some shocking way. But Values Dissonance comes into play here.In Power Rangers in Space , Elgar once fouled up and let the Rangers get an important diskette Astronema punished him by making him play with Scrudley. (Exactly who Scrudley is isnt clear presumably its a monster of some sort thats very rough with anyone who plays with it.)In Power Rangers S.P.D. , a villain who wouldnt give up any information under threats, promises of a reduced sentence or even The Chick s hit single Me crumbled under the Cloudcuckoolander s streamofconsciousness rambling.Their was also a subversion in a different episode with Piggy. Gruumm had left Piggy in a disgusting filthy pit for half an hour to convince him to help him defeat the rangers. The subversion isnt that it was a punishment, both of them saw it as a taste of a reward .Reba has Jake gripe to Cheyenne about having Kyra babysit him because hes stuck watching The Wiggles with his niece under Kyras care. Kyras response? Keep complaining. I got Barney tapes here. And when Reba wrecked her soninlaws car, he got her back for it by telling their neighbor of Rebas temporary blind condition after Reba had an eye surgery, knowing fully well that said neighbor would rush to Rebas aid despite Rebas dislike of the neighbor.On an episode of Roseanne , Darlene wants D.J. punished for messing up her room. Roseanne and Dan decide to let Darlene name the punishment, and she decides to make D.J. wear a suit and tie to school the next day, which he hates.Roseanne: Of course, I would have made him wear a dress. (Darlene gapes) Too late!D.J.s punishment for grand theft auto was equally bad, if not worse. Roseanne would bring him to school, except she would wear the embarrassing apparel, namely a hillbilly outfit and very messy lipstick.Salem in Sabrina the Teenage Witch was a warlock who was turned into a cat by the Witchs Council as punishment for trying to Take Over the World .One Saturday Night Live sketch was a History Channelstyle documentary about an Allied attack on the Germans in World War II . Eventually, a former POW talks about how his friend went insane in prison, after being taken into a round room and told to go sit in the corner.ScrubsDr. Cox and Jordan punish the doctor responsible for Dr. Coxs failed vasectomy by strapping him to a chairwhile an a cappella group continuously sings the baritone part to the Chilis Baby Back Ribs Jingle over and over. The torture is so horrendous that thirty minutes into the singing, the doctor starts eating his own face.Doctor: When do they say ribs?Dr. Cox: Never. They never say ribs.It seems Dr Cox is the distributor of cool and unusual punishments at one point he made Keith check the countertops heartbeat for two hours. JD then relates the story of Dr. Cox making him give every air conditioning duct in the hospital a papsmear. Dr. Cox also once made all his interns stand in a corner for saying lets rock and roll. JD says it a few moments later, with predictable results (despite him being an Attending at the time.)A bizarre one: To get back at Elliot for dating Keith, JD in one of his yandere moments demands to be part of their sexual fantasies.The Janitor also gets a few of these because he hates JD. One episode has the Janitor paint stars and stripes on JD and hang him from a flagpole, telling him to act like a flag for a while. Another episode has him punishing JD for his pride by recruiting everyone in the hospital, including JDs friends , to pelt JD with balls.On Seinfeld , this was one of the ideas Jerry and George pitched to NBC for Jerrys sitcom pilot. After hitting Jerrys car, a man has no insurance or ability to pay for the damages, so a judge sentences him to be Jerrys butler. The network executives like this ridiculous premise much more than a show about nothing.This was part of a running gag on an episode of Sesame Street where Oscars mother comes to visit and every time she heard him say please (a word that grouches never say) she would wash his mouth out with ice cream.A few episodes of Stargate Atlantis have Major Sheppard threaten Dr. McKay with, of all things, a lemon.This is a credible threat, considering McKay is highly allergic to lemons.While not technically a punishment, a second season episodeof Star Trek: The Next Generation had a 21st century astronaut that got accidentally abducted by aliens and when they couldnt return him home, made him a small reality where he could live out the rest of his days in the company of pseudohumans based around a book as an attempt at apologizing for screwing him. Unfortunately, they based the reality off such a godawful book that the astronaut writes in his logbook I hold no malice toward my benefactors. They could not possibly know the hell they have put me through, for it was such a badly written book, filled with endless clich and shallow characters. I shall welcome death when it comes.Of course, this leads to the minor logical problem of why the Sufficiently Advanced Aliens never noticed that the technology level described in the 1930s novel clearly wasnt the same as the 21st century spacecraft they were dealing with, not to mention that if they could understand the language written down in the paperback novel, why didnt they simply ask the astronaut what his home planet was like?In the Suite Life On Deck episode Model Behavior, Moseby punishes Zack, Marcus, and Woody for throwing a party without his authorization and encouraging a group of teen models to stay out past curfew by making them don snorkeling gear and fish the floaties they threw overboard out of the ocean.Also in another episode, Zack Marcus and Woody set up a fake beauty pageant to meet girls and then announce that the pageant is canceled leading to many complaints from disappointed girls. When Mr. Moseby finds out, he punishes Zack Woody and Marcus by hosting a real beauty pageant, appoints them as judges, puts them in charge of the preparations and cleaning up afterwards, and even forbids them from flirting with any of the contestants.Supernatural : In The Man Who Would Be King, it is shown that after Crowley took over Hell, he got rid of the agonizing torture and turned it from Fire and Brimstone Hell into a Celestial Bureaucracy consisting of nothing but one long line that everyone is forced to wait in for eternity. According to Crowley, the traditional punishments, though they did the job on most people, were not so effective on masochists who proved Too Kinky to Torture . But waiting in line? No one likes that.Castiel: And what happens when they reach the front?Crowley: Nothing. They go right back to the end again. Thats efficiency.In one episode of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles , Sarah threatens to have Cameron shipped off to boarding school when she gets a bit too carried away.On Top Gear , when the presenters are making a long journey in secondhand cars (bought under a narrow budget according to certain criteria e.g. twowheel drive and not modified for offroading), the producers send along an emergency backup car which is either 1. hateful to all three of them, 2. entirely inappropriate for the setting, or both. If a car breaks down and the presenter cannot get it going again, his punishment is to use the backup car for the rest of the journey.In the Botswana special, the backup was an oldmodel VW Beetle.In the Vietnam special, it was a motorbike painted in a bright and gaudy American flag livery and blasting Bruce Springsteens Born in the USA, with the radio controls disabled.Ironically if you listen to the lyrics, Born in the USA is a protest song about a man who gets sent to Vietnam, loses his best friend, and cant find work after coming back home as a disgruntled veteran. If the Vietnamese understood the song, they might even like it. Unfortunately, most of them dont speak English.In a Season 13 episode involving a long drive in France and a race on Val Thorenss icedriving track, it was a Morris Marinaa car which, inexplicably, usually winds up crushed under a piano whenever it appears on the show. The presenters blame a nearby piano moving service, Careless Airways.Adding insult to injury, this was a rare instance where the backup car was required (as Jamess selection died.) Heaping a metric ton of insult to injury, it proved to be the car that won the challenge. (One guess what happened after they walked away from it at the icetrack finish line. They blamed Careless Airways French affiliate.)The one where they went to America, although they had no idea it was going to be punishment. As a joke on the stereotypes of USA Southerners (which arent true... right?) they paint some joke things on each others car. Hammonds (painted by May) says Manlove rules OK, Clarksons (painted by Hammond) says Country and western is rubbish, and Mays (painted by Clarkson) says Hillary for President. They laugh at how idiotic they feel, and stop at a petrol station to fill up. The owner is like Are you serious? and theyre like Its just a joke, were sorry if youre offended... and she subsequently calls her friends and they have a mob of people chasing after the 3 guys and the camera crew. The rest we see of that is a mobile phone recording of them absolutely shitting themselves and trying to rub the words off their cars. Completely unexpected but a cool and unusual punishment for thinking that Southerners arent like their stereotype.Subverted in the hunt for the source of the Nile when the backup car, a Ford Scorpio, failed to make it to the destination because the men in white coats dropped it in a river the presenters had crossed in their selfmade car ferry.Series 13s Cars For Teenagers challenge, parking quietly at night. Hammond and Jeremy elected to push their cars into position. James, on the other hand, was doomed before he started...Jeremy: Ahem. holds up the remote for James Mays superglued (max volume, adjustment knob removed) stereoRichard: Is that the control..?! corpses as he realises what Jeremys holdingJeremy: aims the remote squarely at James car Ready... steady... aaaand... LOUD MUSICIn one episode of The Weird Al Show , a sadistic kids show host threatens his sidekick with a Pauly Shore marathon if he doesnt win a coveted award. He doesnt win ( but nor does the other guy hes aiming to beat ). The last shot of the episode is his sidekick, bound and gagged to a chair, as the host snarls, Which do you want to see first? Encino Man or Jury Duty?On The West Wing , C.J. once accidentally arranged for a photo op wherein the president would pose with a goat. Leo was not happy.Leo: If hes wearing a hat, or that things wearing a Bartlet button Im hiding snakes in your car.C.J.: Come on, dont say that, not even to joke!Leo: Youre never gonna know where they are...C.J.: Leo!Leo: ...or if you got em all out. Gonna lay their eggs right in your glove compartment.Karen throws a wild party and trashes Wills apartment. Her punishment? Will denies Karen her afternoon martini (a.k.a. lunch) and makes her look at Graces endless honeymoon photos.Karen: (to Will) I HATE YOU!Grace: Roll one: my luggage!In another episode, Karen and Jack are coming up with some type of revenge against the English Lorraine Finster for stealing Karens husband. Jacks idea? Make her watch the American version of anything British.Another time, Grace forces Karen (who just went on a severalthousanddollar shopping spree) to cut back on her spending habits by threatening to cut up part of the sweater set she just bought.Karan: No! You kill one piece and the whole ensemble dies!Grace: Maybe Ill just start with...the label.Karen: No! Honey thats the BEST PART! (covers mouth in abject horror) No....Wizards of Waverly Place :In response for Alex always taking things from his room, Justin creates a female Frankenstines monster named Franken Girl to guard his room, makes Franken Girl befriend Alex, and eventually forces Alex to join the cheerleading squad.During the episode Dancing With Angels Max (who has been turned into a little girl) refuses to tell his parents where Alex, Harper and Justin have sneaked off to. His punishment? Being entered into a beauty pageant for 712 yearold girls.A lot of Whose Line Is It Anyway? sketches feature some form of this, particularly Worlds Worst. For example, in one Hoedown, Colin claims he hates the Backstreet Boys so much that he punished them by making them wear copies of his loud Hawaiian shirt.During one episode of Yes, Dear , Greg got threatened with one of these by his boss: Warner, if you keep talking, youre going to come to work in a thong and a beefeater hat. That got Greg quiet.In Yes, Prime Minister , Prime Minister Hacker manages to get a slimy Foreign Office Mole , who has been meddling with his attempts to work with Israel in accordance with the Foreign Offices proPalestinian leanings, a cushy promotion as ambassador to an important friendly nation. Unfortunately, the embassy is in Tel Aviv...On Dexter , a character was shown torturing someone for information by shaking up bottles of Coke and opening them so they would spray straight up the guys nose.In I Am Frankie , Tammy frames Robbie for vandalizing the school lockers. When she confesses to framing him, her punishment is to be his genie and grant him three wishes.Myths and ReligionOlder Than Feudalism : Classical Mythology was rife with brutal physical torture, but also featured several bizarre and less obviously torturous punishments. A few potent examples include...:Tantalus, whose punishment for killing his son and serving him as a meal to the gods was to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches. Whenever he reached for the fruit, the branches raised his intended meal from his grasp. Whenever he bent down to get a drink, the water receded before he could get any. Thus was born the word tantalize.Sisyphus was a sly and crafty king who was cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity.Atlas, who Zeus condemned to hold the sky on his shoulders. (This is usually misinterpreted as the Earth.)Medusa was already a little too pretty for Athenas liking, but the last straw was when she had the sheer gall of getting raped inside one of Athenas temples, and by a God at that (Poseidon, if youre curious). Most wise Athena must have been in a blamingthevictim mood that day because she turned her into, well, the Medusa (or, it could be that she had no authority to punish her uncle). (That was the version given by Ovid in The Metamorphoses . Most earlier versions arent clear on the rape part, a term that has an ambiguous meaning in Greek myths, and in this case would have more to do with Athenas consent, not Medusas.)In another version, Aphrodite turned Medusa into a monster for the crime of being prettier than the Goddess of Love and Beauty.Athena is also on record for turning Arachne into a spider. There are various versions of just exactly why:Arachne was punished for hubris. She proclaimed that she was a better weaver than Athena. When youre dealing with the Greek pantheon, its really not wise to make those kinds of boasts.In another version, Arachne challenged Athena to a weaving contest, and while Athena admitted that Arachnes weaving was technically flawless, the image that Arachne wove was one of the gods and goddesses acting like idiots and making fools of themselves. So the punishment was for, on top of everything else, not showing proper respect to the gods. Athena was generally one of the more levelheaded deities in the myths, but apparently one can push even her too far.Still a third version has Arachne hanging herself after seeing how much better Athena was. Athena saw her bloated, hanging body, and took pity on her, restoring her to life as a spider(arachne in Greek), a creature with a bloated body that hangs from a thread and weaves it to live.Echo, a nymph with a bad habit of gossiping, was stripped of her voice by Hera when the goddess realized that Echo was distracting her from searching for her wayward husband, Zeus. Later, after seeing how utterly miserable Echo had become, Hera had a slight change of heart, and returned Echos voice to her, changing it so that she could only repeat whatever she heard. Things got worse when she fell in love with Narcissus, and Eros tried and failed to make him fall in love with her: Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection, and broke Echos heart when he proclaimed his love for his own reflection in stereo. Heartbroken, Echo pined away until all that was left of her was her voice, while Narcissus stared at his own reflection until he starved to death, whereupon the first of the eponymous flowers sprang up at the site of his death.Some versions of the story have his ashes being scattered at the spot where the first such flowers shortly started growing.In the tale of William Tell , Albrecht Gessler punishes Tell for not bowing to his hat by forcing him to shoot an apple off his sons head with a crossbow , knowing that if he failed he would have a very high chance of maiming or killing his own son. Give Gessler some villain points for creativity, but take them away again for failing to realize that Tells Improbable Aiming Skills would make him a Folk Hero on the spot.Newspaper ComicsDilbert :The pointyhaired boss punished Wallys lack of performance, by forcing Wally to watch him eat!There have been several times in which Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light has darned someone to Heck, sentencing them to no change in their situation whatsoever. But then for most Dilbert characters, thats certainly a horrible thing to do.In an infamous strip, Wally suggests wearing an uncomfortable hat as compensation for working from home one day a week. The pointyhaired boss approves, but adds that it has to be really uncomfortable. The last panel shows a purplefaced Wally with outofplace glasses sporting a CCLAMP as hat.Wally: The jokes on him! It isnt that uncomfortable.The Far Side : many and varied, from variations on Hell (this is your room, Maestro room filled with thirty banjo players) to the mysterious object known only as Mr Thingy.Apparently Charlie Parker s private hell involves listening to nothing but New Age music.In The Boondocks , this is combined with a Take That! when Granddad punishes Riley in one strip by making him go see Catwoman .Garfield : Jon is ticketed in one strip for singing in his car at a stoplight with the windows down hes required to pay a fine and carry a pitch pipe in his car at all times. (Ive heard you sing, says Garfield, you got off easy. )Grand Avenue : Video rental store policy: WARNING: Stiff penalty if video not rewound! That penalty being that upon your next visit, they make you watch twenty minutes of an Ernest movie.On your second offense, its an Adam Sandler film.Non Sequitur : Dog heaven is where the bad squirrels go. A similar joke was once made about the paradise for suicide bombers being a form of hell for young women.Pops up a lot in Beetle Bailey :In one strip, there was this exchange:Sarge: Your fingernails are dirty.Beetle: Oh dear, I must have forgot my manicure appointment.Sarge: (annoyed) I have a cure for wise guys...He then made Beetle give free manicures to the whole camp.In another strip, Beetle, who is on KP, accidentally squirts whipped cream in Cookies face, and then laughs at him. Cookie, who isnt amused, orders him to stand at attention, then sprays the whipped cream all over him. (Of course, Captain Scabbard and Lieutenant Flapp walk in on the last panel, the latter quickly deciding hes eating at the PX tonight.)In one Calvin and Hobbes strip, Calvin is imagining himself in his Spaceman Spiff persona where hes abducted by a tribe of enemy aliens, who decided to put him through the torture of having his hair washed. Another has the aliens put Spiff through the wringer... by taking him to a mundane living room and talking about wholesome principles.Frequently invoked by the Snorklewhacker in charge of Binkleys Closet of Anxieties from Bloom County :Snorklewhacker: We have a choice of anxieties for you tonight, Binkley a convention of PM Magazine hosts, Jesse Helms explaining at length why Martin Luther King Jr. was a communist, or a huge Binkleyeating python.Binkley: Ill take the python. (turns to the reader) Heck, Im no glutton for punishment.RadioOur Miss Brooks : When Miss Brooks accidentally derails Mr. Conklins promotion in Rumors, Mr. Conklin punishes Miss Brooks by forcing her to do his familys laundry.In The Goon Show version of Nineteen EightyFour , Neddy Seagoon is taken to Room 101 to face the worst thing in the world. The theme tune to the Soap Opera Mrs Dales Diary starts to play. Seagoons collapse is immediate.In Old Harrys Game , while many punishments of the damned are quite gruesome and sadistic, a couple are like this. In one instance, the protagonists are tortured by having demons act out dialogue from Jeffrey Archer novels. Another instance involved Thomas, the ButtMonkey and a reprehensible person in life being stripped and painted like a zebra and sentenced to be eaten by crocodiles. However, the actual punishment was that the crocodiles would come up to him and open their jaws, but do nothing thereby torturing him with the anxiety of waiting for the punishment to begin.Mention should also be made of The Pit of Eternally Pregnant PopesThis is Satan at his most cruel, I think. Except for that time he made you strip naked and fry that extremely fatty baby.The radio series of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy first introduced Vogon poetry being used by Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz to torture Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect after he caught them hitchhiking. For the audiences sake only short bits of it are heard between the screaming and the Guides explanation.Bleak Expectations : The villain Mr Benevolent has his nemesis Pip Bin at his mercy, and rather than kill him, decides to do this. It starts off lowkey (serving him red wine with overdone fish, flicking him with a wet towel) then moves on to more insidious acts (giving him the latest novels, then spoiling the endings)Mr Benevolent: By the way, the first Mrs Rochester still lives in the attic.Pip Bin: I WAS ENJOYING THAT!Then we see the cruellest punishment imaginable. Cheeseboarding. This involves forcefeeding Pip truly ridiculous amounts of cheese without so much as a cracker, or even some chutney, until he begins to go mad. Tabletop GamesIn the Paranoia adventure Clones in Space, an alien race with a highly developed aesthetic sense uses torture methods based on poor taste (Waylon Jennings records, Three Stooges videos, etc.) The Game Master is advised to actually procure the media and subject the players to it, all the while groaning and feigning agony at hisher own exposure to it.Played with in Warhammer 40,000 . Theres a tale told about a group of Orks that ventured into the Eye of Terror and landed on a KhorneControlled world. Every day they are forced to fight to the death against enemies they can never beat, only to be raised the next day to repeat the cycle. What would be living hell for anyone else is basically an Orky Valhalla.TheaterIn Gilbert and Sullivan s The Mikado , the Mikado (the Emperor of Japan) sings a song about clever ways to let the punishment fit the crime.In Princess Ida King Hildenbrand tortures King Gama by ensuring that everything is exactly the way he likes it and everyone is extremely polite to him. Therefore King Gama has absolutely nothing to complain aboutto a misanthropist like him, a horrible torture.No Exit is famous for this. In it, Hell is a normallooking hotel where three sinners, chosen specifically to get on each others nerves, are locked in a room together... forever. And its not even really locked the door pops open at the end. Nobody leaves, since they all have some flaw that prevents them from leaving the others (Garcin wants Inez to validate him, Inez is in love with Estelle, who in turn wants to get together with Garcin).Theme ParksIn the finale of the former Jimmy Neutrons Nicktoon Blast attraction at Universal Studios , King Goobot, having gained control of the ride vehicles, forces them to do the chicken dance, which he deems a fate beyond your worst nightmare!.In the preshow to The Simpsons Ride , the family is horrified by a legally required safety video . Video Games

This is what kids movies should be like...7 August 2006 by MaintenanceGuys See all my reviewsI find it hard to believe that kids movies these days will ever be called classics in years to come (excluding Pixar movies). In my mind, this is the last classic hand drawn film, and it upsets me that I have to wait for another five years for it to come out on DVD. This film deals with great issues and involves a huge conflict for the main character, something that recent kidfamily films lack. It is funny and lighthearted when it should be, and heartfelt and serious when it needs it. I believe that everybody should see this movie, regardless of your age. It may just be the last good movie that Disney will ever do without the help of Pixar.106 of 123 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful to you?Yes

Woh KaviWK is a Canadian PaleoConservative that struggles against the rising tide of Cultural Marxism and Liberal insanity. He blogs at Occidentinvicta.comThe woman follows the man. In her youth she follows her father and elder brother when married, she follows her husband when her husband is dead, she follows her son. ConfuciusAristotle made a cruel observation regarding human nature in his treatise on politics that continues to offend sensibilities to this day. He argued that some people were slaves by nature, and the proper course for such individuals was to subject themselves to the rule of their superiors. Aristotle argued that natural slaves lacked the reason to think properly and thus slavery was as beneficial to them as captivity was to cattle (to protect them from wild predators).He believed that slavery was a perfectly natural condition since too many managers and too few workers would halt productivity, to invoke a modern metaphor. Who are natural slaves? We see them all around us every day. They are accountants, doctors, engineers, construction workers, and all those who possess enough reason to excel at their work without questioning the status quo. They are individuals who want a cushy job while surrendering difficult decisions to the nanny state.Aristotle understood the limitations of his theory, as some that possessed the souls of free men became enslaved while those that were slaves by nature became free. It is my belief, however, that those that are slaves by nature will choose slavery if given free choice and those that are masters will rise given the same environment of freedom.A couple of years ago I asked a middle aged female coworker what she would do if she had a million dollars. She informed me that she would spend the money on repairs and renovation of her house in addition to paying off her mortgage. She had spent the money in a matter of seconds and informed me that a million dollars wasnt enough to gain financial independence. She concluded the conversation by stating that she would be back at her desk even if she won a million dollars at the casino. This individual is a natural slave. But what does all of this have to do with feminism? We shall examine the connection below.The first feministMary Wollstonecraft has the dubious honor of being recognized as the first liberal feminist in History. Her major endeavor was vindication for the rights of women. One of the central arguments that the work advocates is that society should respect the rational autonomy of women. She formulated this argument in the broader context of womens education, which was a widely debated topic during her lifetime.Wollstonecraft believed that women had the same capacity to grow as men did and that a well rounded education could aid women in becoming contributing members of society. Her arguments seem tinged with Kantian ethics, which were quite the rage during the enlightenment. Contemporary feminists are still divided on whether Wollstonecraft should be considered a true feminist or not given that she did not challenge the primacy of gender roles.Wollstonecrafts works provided a tremendous ideological thrust for the suffragists, but this nascent feminist movement still lacked a central ideology until the rise of gender feminism in the 60s. Much of the Marxist rot that saturates society today has its origins in the gender feminist movement of the 60s. The suffragists still saw themselves as members of a particular ethnic group and preoccupied themselves with the interests of those groups.For example, an Irish suffragist was still proud to be Irish just as a German suffragist was proud to be German. Gender feminists would eventually tell women that nationalism was masculinized history and that women mustnt take pride in their ethnicity and culture, but rather from their Marxist class identity: women. Unsurprisingly, the average North American feminist is concerned more with the education opportunities of Afghan women than she is with the plight of the homeless man down the street.The path continuesBetty Friedan three guesses why she became a feministBetty Friedan famously argued that a woman had no identity outside of a few roles that society had forcefully assigned her, such as wife and mother. To Friedan, these roles were wrongly at the core of a womans identity instead of her inner characteristics (such as her intellect) and achievements. So far both Friedan and Wollstonecraft seem to agree that women need to develop their characters and inner faculties independently of the limited roles that society has accorded them.Where they seem to differ lies in their attitudes toward culture and society. Wollstonecraft never attacked gender roles and saw the education of women as a means to an end: producing a better society. Friedan and later feminists werent concerned with the wellbeing of society so much as they were with reconstructing culture on their own terms. For the sake of brevity let us just say that Wollstonecraft and the suffragists had a holistic objective in mind (the interests of society as a whole), whereas second wave feminists had a solipsistic objective in mind: the interests of women (as a Marxist class) at the expense of society.The third waveThird wave Feminism saw the loosening of social expectations aimed at policing womens behavior. Expectations pertaining to responsible alcohol consumption, sexual behavior, and even appearance were all summarily carpet bombed by feminists under the banner of choice. The case of Hamilton and Hylton is worth mentioning, as it sends out a clear signal that women are simply not accountable for their actions.Put another way, women are treated like children and feminists actually prefer it that way. The modern feminist mantra Dont teach me to do x, teach men not to do y reeks of narcissistic entitlement. Fat acceptance feminist Lindy West illustrates this childish mindset perfectly. To West, it is more logical for society to alter its aesthetic taste than for obese women to go on a diet.The sentiment Why should I change? Everybody else should change to accommodate me! is the thinking of one whose mental faculties have not reached maturity. This is sort of immature mindset that Schopenhauer prophetically criticized as thus:Women are suited to being the nurses and teachers of our earliest childhood precisely because they themselves are childish, silly and shortsighted, in a word big children, their whole lives longThird wave feminism has vindicated Aristotles views on human nature. That when given unfettered freedom, women choose to yield to their inner nature and become big children. Children, as we all know, need a guardian and that role is fulfilled by the nanny state. It is worthwhile to note that old fashioned liberals like John Locke (Life, Liberty, Property) argued in favour of individual freedom by limiting the powers of government. Contrast classical liberalism with female infested modern liberalism where oppressed groups tilt the resources of the majority toward themselves using a bloated nanny state as their lever.John Locke perhaps more handsome than Betty FriedanStrong willed men have historically desired small government whereas strong and independent women desire the very opposite. It is clear that women subscribe to a very different definition of freedom compared to men. Men desire freedom from government whereas women desire freedom from sociocultural obligations where the cost of their impropriety is borne by society and enabled by the state. Can you guess which definition of freedom would be agreeable to the overlords of the encroaching police state?Third wave feminism brings the feminist enterprise full circle, as it liberates the very shortcomings of female nature that the earliest feminists believed were the product of patriarchal subjugation. The dementia of the feminist movement extends well beyond the vapid dogmas that comprise its ideological core.The root of its dementia lies in the movements belief that women can be free of their nature that somehow feminism can undo thousands of years of female evolution.Ironically, the case against feminism is best made by feminism itself.

Billy Watson 10 CommentsMali MeyersIn 1975, I learned to beat off by watching a kid called The Hammer do it in a fort made from refrigerator boxes behind an apartment complex that was under construction but close to being finished. I was 11 years old, and I wasnt the only one there. It was a circle jerk, and there were 5 or 6 of us maybe more, cause thats part of the memory I cant recall exactlybut its something Ill never forget. Just like youll never forget the way you learned how to masturbate.Looking back at it now, I wish beating off was something I just kinda stumbled upon, which I think is the way most girls learn how to masturbatebut I could be wrong about that. Instead, on a nice day after school, I hauled ass to the apartment complex after dumping my school stuff in my room. It was directly across the street from where I lived, which was a suburb on the east side of Chicago.We all hauled ass, because we walked home from school in a group, and everyone saw the immense pile of boxes piled high near the complex on our way home. It was a mountain of boxes, enough to make The Biggest Fort of All Time. Within an hour, we had The Great Room, various wings that lead to smaller rooms there were even enough boxes to create an outer wall, and we were certain that outer wall would protect us from any and all dirt clods cause we knew it was only a matter of time before we came under attack.Instead of dirt clods, it was The Hammer who came crashing in. He was a freshman in high school, but we all knew he was held back a grade or two. He made us nervous, cause the rumor was he belonged to The Burnham Boys, and no one messed with them. Ever. Wed never met a real Burnham Boy, but no one dared asked The Hammer if he belonged to that gang. And we didnt ask him why he wanted us all in The Great Room, but when he told us to get in there, we did.And he wasted no time: You guys wanna watch me pop sperm?I had no idea what he was talking about, and I dont think my friends did, either. But we all nodded yes. So he pulled out his dick, and suddenly I felt an overwhelming urge to cry. But no way am I gonna cry in front of my friends and certainly not in front of The Hammer. So we all sat there, kinda dumbstruck. Come on you guys, do it with me!I watched for a few minutes more before scrambling out. I ran home as hard as I could run, and as I looked over my shoulder, I saw I was the only one. I also saw The Hammer had a whole bunch of hair between his legs, and his wiener was gigantic. What was that all about?So that night, sitting in the tub while Aqua Man floated by, I tried to pop sperm. And the only thing that happened was the worst headache Id ever experienced. It was obvious to me then that Jesus was punishing me for that dirty behavior, so I stopped right away and told Him I was sorry. But it sure did feel good before my head started to hurt, so it was only a few weeks later before I attempted to pop sperm again, which I managed to accomplish that day. I walked around for weeks waiting for something bad to happen to me, cause I was certain Jesus knew what I was up to.No one ever spoke a word about what went down in the fort, and not too long after all this went down, and I was popping sperm on a regular basis, I found a book in a dumpster. I was in the dumpster looking for beer cans, which was the first thing I ever collected, and I was obsessed beer cans. The book was a pulp novel called Come Swim in my Hole, and on the cover an older, bikiniclad lady sat by a pool watching a younger dude jump off the diving board. At least thats how I remember it, and now that I collect pulp porno novels, I always look out for it. Cause it was my first masturbation fodder. Before Come Swim in my Hole, I have no idea what went through my head while I was poppin sperm, cause I dont remember. It was just something that felt good.Four years later, Id see my first hardcore porno, which was projected up against a wall in my best friends older brothers bedroom on a Super 8 projector. A woman named Seka fucked a dude named John C. Holmes, and his wiener was so big I thought it might be fake. We all laughed as the movie rolled. Since there was a crowd, I couldnt pop sperm there, so I took the little poster that was folded up in the Swedish Erotica box the movie came in, slipped it into my pocket, and went to the bathroom to piss. Of course I had to announce I was simply going to piss, and no one cared or even looked up at me, cause they were all watching Seka get railed.When I unfolded it, there were lots of pictures of women with sperm all over their faces, and they were smiling! I couldnt believe a woman would ever let a man pop sperm on her face let alone smile about it afterwards. I thought Do women like that really exist?Up to that point in my life, I hadnt had sex yet, but an older girl named Diana I met at a Rodeo Parade would come over to my house to do homework, and shed always wind up blowing me. And shed always swallow. It never dawned on me to ask Diana if I could blast her face, and even after I saw Seka take that her facial, Id never work up the courage to ask any of my girlfriends to do anything that naughtyuntil I was maybe 25 or 30. And never a girlfriend always a random hook up.Cause, up to that point in my life, that sort of shit didnt happen in the real world and certainly not in mine.