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Porn girl was watching computer

Porn girl was watching computer

Porn girl was watching computer

to Mommylovescocks : My gf caught me last year after dating for two months, we had a long talk......now we both like to suck cock and enjoy men together. So blessed to have her in my life.3 years agoShow original comment Hide ReplyMommylovescocksI found the same history on a lot of the computers of the men Ive dated. Perfectly ok by me!3 years ago

Image by Steven AnthonyWhat happens when you drop a male rat into a cage with a receptive female rat? First, you see a frenzy of copulation. Then, progressively, the male tires of that particular female. Even if she wants more, he has had enough. However, replace the original female with a fresh one, and the male immediately revives and gallantly struggles tofertiliseher.You can repeat this process with fresh females until he is completely wiped out.This is called the Coolidge effect the automatic response to novel mates. Its what might have started you down the roadto getting hookedon Internet porn.In the last couple of years studies have been showing an increase in sexual problems among young males. While the numbers vary, a 2007 study of the American Journal of Medicine showed that this affects more than 18 million men in the United States over the age of 20. One of the factors has been attributed to the widespread exposure to internet porn.The specific numbers are unknown since it has been difficult to do proper research.Researches could not find any college aged males who were not using internet porn. This created a blindspot. Imagine if all guys started smoking at age 10 and there were no groups that didnt, we would think that lung cancer is normal for all guys.This article will deconstruct porn addiction in males. Since conclusive scientific data is unavailable I will extrapolate what we know from other addictions and compare this with first person data obtained from different I stopped watching porn groups. I will then explain why watching porn can be bad for you and why it is primarily a male problem by showing how attraction works in both sexes.Why we get addicted to pornVery simply put, addiction is the repetition of specific behavior that causes us to feel good.We feel good because we release certain hormones like dopamine. The more dopamine we release, the better we feel and chances of us wanting to repeat the same behavior. Dopamine feeds off novelty, meaning that novel and pleasurable experiences will cause our brains to release more dopamine than consecutive similar ones, to the point where we reach the Coolidge effect.(Please note that other and new research suggests that (drug) addiction is caused by a lack in our social environment rather than the addictive nature of the drug, this might explain why some individuals get addicted while others dont).Internet porn isespecially enticing to the reward circuitrybecause novelty is always just a click away.A variety of symptoms manifest themselves among males who regularly watch pornographic material. Do any of these symptoms apply to you?You have problems getting or keeping an erection.You experience delayed ejaculation.You masturbate more with porn than without.You dont get as excited masturbating without porn than with.You find yourself developing fetishes and sexual thoughts regarding matters you would not have encountered without internet porn.You have a decreased libido, you are depressed, fatigue, experience low energy levels and have no satisfaction in life.Real women do not arouse you as much as the ones you see on the internet.You experience irrational anxieties when you think about sex.You find porn more exciting than having sex with another human beingRead this: The key Insights from the book Sex at DawnSo what happens?The World Wide Web is like an infinite stream of boobs, a place where we can see more super hot women in a time span of 10 minutes than our ancestors could in multiple lifetimes. The Coolidge Effect is no longer the exception but the rule.When you first start watching porn it easily sufficed to watch one nonmoving nippleslip to be able to reach an orgasm. But due to the novelty effect, after years of consistent consumption, this wont cut it anymore. The same pornographic material wont excite you and you feel compelled to explore novel endeavors.Behavioral addictions (food addiction, pathological gambling, video gaming and Internet addiction) involve the same fundamental mechanisms leading to a collection of shared alterations in brain anatomy and chemistry.All addictions share the same constellation of brain changesDesensitization the more porn you watch, the more you need to reach the same amounts of dopamine release.Sensitization the more porn you watch, the more associations with porn you are going to make when facing stimuli which can induce these thoughts. The incognito browsing function in Google Chromes browser is invented to surf the web anonymously without leaving visible trace on your computer. If you are used to watching porn on a computer and are afraid of leaving traces, this is a perfect solution for that. While the initial idea is to surf anonymously, you will start making associations with watching porn. Due to the rewired nerve connections in the brain the reward circuitry gets stimulated with cues related to the addiction.Hypofrontality Reduced impulse control and weakened ability to foresee consequences. The more porn you watch, the more difficult it will be to refrain from watching it and the less you will care about the consequences.Dysfunctional stress circuits Chances of a relapse increase. Dopamine works through the brains main stress area in a way that it increases the activity of the brain involved in addiction relapse. That is why often times addicts relapse during stressful periods in life.These are just a few of the many brain changes the brain undergoes under the influence of an addiction. Research in this field is yet limited, as it is a quite new phenomenon. However,there is research which suggeststhat compulsive pornography users show the same brain activity as alcohol and drugs addicts (watch the documentary on this here ).What about women?The reason why most of this does not apply to women in the same way as to men is because of the difference in female and male perception of sexuality. Men and women have different sexual cues. Simply put, men are primarily visually and externally focused and women are primarily psychologically and internally focused. Among men psychological and physical arousal is intertwined together and porn is seen as an individual thing. They watch a pornvideo, masturbate, get an orgasm and are done. Among women psychological and physical arousal is not necessarily linked. For women porn is more of a social thing. They prefer to read erotic novels or discuss the subject on forums, and the meaning of sex often transcends having sex and getting an orgasm. Therefore women are less prone to getting addicted to internet porn.So what? Why should I stop watching porn?Don Jon: A New Jersey guy dedicated to his family, friends, and church, develops unrealistic expectations from watching porn and works to find happiness and intimacy with his potential true love. Even Hollywood has caught up on the newsWhile the numbers vary, a 2007 study of the American Journal of Medicine showed that more than 18 million men in the United States over age 20 are affected with an Erectile Dysfunction Disorder .Erectile dysfunction(ED) orimpotenceis sexual dysfunction characterisedby the inability to develop or maintain an erection of the penis during sexual performance . The numbers may even be greater, since not many people like to share this information, yet strong correlations between watching porn and having an erectile dysfunction disorder have been found.When the brain gets rewired, it takes a higher arousal threshold in order to get an erection, up to a point where such a state of arousal becomes impossible. Unfortunately there is not enough research yet to draw the line of how much porn one can watch to prevent this.Why is porn actually bad?According to philosopher Jordan Peterson, porn is bad because it is the easy way out. There is no transfer of information, no mirroring of intimacy, no feedback. It prevents you from actually taking action and make yourself presentable to another member of our species.Why is it bad to watch porn? Only you can truly answer that for yourself. Do you use it escape from your responsibilities and potential? As something William James would call downward transcendence? Then yes, you are using porn in a destructive manner, you are watching porn to forget and numb yourself.Robert Sapolsky: Is porn causing you erectile dysfunction?Delayed ejaculation is a problem often followed by erectile dysfunctions. Masturbating without porn becomes difficult or unsatisfying, earlier genres of porn are not as exciting anymore and losing erection while attempting penetration are just a few widespread symptoms. Shame and a decrease of ones selfworth are often the psychological results.In 2003 a study on the relationship between ejaculation and serum testosterone levels in men showed an increase of 145,7 on the 7th day of abstinence. Testosterone is known to fuel a healthy libido (more sex), build muscle mass (more adventurous sex) and help maintain energy levels (longer sex).Over the past one and a half year we have had our own ongoing conversation on our 30 days of No Porn and No Masturbation challenge .While it is not scientific, I believe testimonials and personal stories can indicate the first signs of a porn epidemic. The huge enthusiasm in one of our biggest forum topics has been a great motivator for me to write this article.Here is a short selection of what our members said:4 days in, feel way more conscious on all levels, real, meditation is way more amazing its like you can channelize that powerful sexual energy to energize some cells in the body which need more energy to have that equilibrium balance effect.4 weeks in. 30 day challenge complete. Not stopping though, Im gonna keep it up for as long as it seems right. The world is a beautiful place. Abstaining from masturbating put a fire under my ass to go out there and find something real. The human body doesnt know the difference between masturbation and actual sex, therefore when you masturbate your body no longer needs to go out and find a mate for a while. It thinks it has done its job and planted its seed. Without Masturbation I have been able to go out into the real world and meet real women and as a result I met an amazing girl that I plan on reserving all this sexual energy for.Im excited to see that this thread has got a recent rejuvenation. Today is my 80th day of quitting porn and its really been amazing. At first, I was doing no porn, no masturbation, but the real problem I think revolves around the overstimulation your brain receives from watching porn all the time. I used to jerk it to porn twice a day and realized it was becoming a problem based mainly on the amount of time Ive wasted.Since Ive quit porn and have considerably cut down on the amount of masturbation, Ive noticed a lot of amazing results. I think the number one best improvement on my life is I use my free time so much better. Twice a day of watching porn adds up to 30 to 45 minutes wasted. I now spend that time on other activities that I just started since I quit like running, hiking, brewing beer, and reading a lot more.Sex has been a lot better. Im able to get much more involved in the moment and have little to no worry about the expectations of performance.I hope I have made it clear that this article is not about quitting masturbation or sex, it is about quitting (or limiting) porn. Try it out and experience it yourself and please leave your thoughts in the comments.This is one of many challenges to catalyse changes in your life. If you want to go deeper, check out our epic course.How to start:First 7 to 10 days are most difficult, if you can manage to get through them, the remaining days will be much easier.Install an anti porn extension .Whenever you feel the urge to watch porn, do as many push ups as you can or take a cold shower.Notice that such an urge is more likely in moments where we feel anxious or have to complete a task we dont enjoy. Porn is often a form of procrastination and giving in to feel good. However, in the long run, watching porn can be bad for you.Remove all pornographic material (even bikini posters) from your roomhouse.Avoid places you normally surf on the internet which are likely to induce thoughts about sexporn.Develop selflove and inquire within if watching porn is a healthy relationship with yourself.Be aware that porn can be bad for you, A negative selfrelation can cause guilt and motivation problems.For more and more detailed information have a look at this TED talk by Gary Wilson.Want to overcome your porn habits and other destructive and replace them with positive, lifeaffirming behaviours?Then our new course was designed foryou.by FilipI am a Psychologist with an interest in (making) music, travelling, meditation and the human psyche. Everything is an opportunity to learn, where one sees pitfalls I see challenges, where one gets blinded by fear, I see opportunities for personal growth.

Share this articleShareHawe, who went on the rampage in August 2016before killing himself, said he was sorry in a note found at the scene.In the note found at the home inBallyjamesduff in Co Cavan, Ireland and published by the Irish Daily Star, Hawe wrote:I am sorry for how I murdered them all but I simply had no other way.The note, which was addressed to his parents and siblings as well as his wifes mother and sister, also explained:I am sorry for my brutality but I had no other way.Mary Coll (right) told the inquest, in December, how she had coffee and biscuits with daughterClodagh Hawe and her husband Alan hours before he killed her, butchered their three children, then killed himselfDr Michael Curtis (pictured) said he believed Hawe cut Clodaghs and two of her sons throats in such a way that they wouldnt be able to utter cries for help. And all except for youngest son Ryan, aged six, suffered defensive injuries, meaning they most likely put up a struggleHawe also reportedly requested that he not be forgiven for his actions.Details from the fivepage letter had previously been given to members of the jury but were not read out at the inquest.It was found at the scene of the murders on August 29, alongside another note that was taped on the back door of the house which read: Please do not come in. Please call the gardai.Hawe also explained in the note that it was easier for his sons to be killed than for them to be subjected to the trauma of his own suicide.He even left instructions that he be cremated, with his ashes thrown out to sea, and he specifically requested he not be buried as a Catholic.Hawe also spoke of his career worries, referring at one point in the note to how his students perceived him.Professor Kennedy (pictured) told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murdersuicide he had progressed from longterm depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptomsProfessor Harry Kennedy, clinical director at the Central Mental Hospital, was asked by Coroner Dr Mary Flanagan to review Mr Hawes suicide note and reports from his therapist and GP.He said: The counselling notes from March to June last year indicate that Alan Hawe was troubled.Professor Kennedy told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murdersuicide he had progressed from longterm depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms.When people act in the course of severe mental illness, such as very severe psychotic mental illness, their judgment is severely impaired, Professor Kennedy said.The inquest concluded last month, with Hawes death being officially recorded as suicide. The three children and Clodagh were unlawfully killed by Hawe.After it was closed, a solicitor for Mary Coll and Jacqueline Connolly, Clodaghs mother and sister, said Hawe targeted his wife and eldest son first for fear they may fight back.On the steps of the courthouse, lawyer Liam Keane said the killings were premeditated and calculated.Flanked by the griefstricken Mrs Coll and her surviving daughter Jacqueline, he said: It is clear from the evidence presented at the inquest that Clodagh and her boys were killed in a sequence that ensured that the eldest and most likely to provide effective resistance were killed first, and they were executed in a manner that rendered them unable to cry out for help.The hearse carrying the coffin of murdered Clodagh Hawe arrives at St Marys Church Castlerahan, Co Caven, Ireland last year. An inquest last month heard harrowing details of the scene after police arrived at the houseMr Keane said the twoday hearing, which included harrowing evidence examining how the school teacher mother and her sons died, does not address why Alan Hawe committed this savagery.The solicitor referred to the psychotherapist David McConnell who held counselling sessions with Mr Hawe from March 15 to June 21 2016.His counsellor has said that he was concerned about his position as a pillar of the community, Mr Keane said.We are aware that he was concerned at his imminent fall from that position and the breakdown of his marriage.The bodies of the Hawe family were discovered after Mrs Coll called to their home in Oakdene Downs, Barconey, near Ballyjmesduff, and saw an envelope on the back door warning for gardai to be called.Garda Aisling Walsh and Garda Alan Radcliff pictured on December 19 leaving Cavan Court House during the twoday inquestThe jury of six women and one man returned verdicts of unlawful killing of Mrs Hawe and her three boys and suicide in the death of Mr Hawe.The inquest was told the viceprincipal last visited the psychotherapist and his GP on June 21 2016.Mr McConnell said Mr Hawe gave no indication that he would harm himself or others. Dr Paula McKevitt said Mr Hawe attended her surgery complaining about a sore toenail.He also told her he had washed his feet in bleach.The GP said he was a little stressed about work and had not been sleeping.Professor Harry Kennedy, clinical director at the Central Mental Hospital, was asked by Coroner Dr Mary Flanagan to review Mr Hawes suicide note and reports from his therapist and GP.He said: The counselling notes from March to June last year indicate that Alan Hawe was troubled.Professor Kennedy told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murdersuicide he had progressed from longterm depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms.When people act in the course of severe mental illness, such as very severe psychotic mental illness, their judgment is severely impaired, Professor Kennedy said.Referring to his review of the suicide note and the GPs and therapists reports, Prof Kennedy said: Hindsight is always a very unfair advantage.Read more:

Teen cutie gets fucked after she gets horny on computerThere is something incredibly hot about a cute teen girl watching porn on her computer. Sanches thinks so too and when he joins Vlaska it isn?t long before she is on his lap with his tongue in her mouth and hands on her perky little titties. She plays along nicely, sliding down to her knees in order to suck cock before he pounds that tight pussy. Her box is hot and wet when he shoves his cock up in her and grips his dong like a fist while he fucks her. He coats her teeth with a hefty load of jizz to round this one out.

Share Tweet Pin ItAre you someone who finds yourself viewing more girl on girl action than girl on guy, and youre not sure why? Well, you are not alone!Whether youre a guy or gal, theres no denying and you can try all you want that lesbian porn is way more appealing than straight porn. Maybe its the beautiful women that you either want or envy, or maybe its just because its more raw and real.The fact is that it is just way hotter to get yourself off to some attractive women getting it on than it is to watch some hairy, overenthusiastic dude bumping uglies with a gorgeous woman.Now, this is not a topic of discussion that youll sit around the office chatting about because lets get real, its still fairly taboo to talk openly about. But thats why Im here! You may feel odd especially you straight girls out there for finding some ladies getting it on to be really sexy. But dont. For whatever reason, most people out there get increasingly turned on by this phenomenon, and Im here to do some of the explaining as to why. Read: 15 crazy myths about being a lesbian that people still believe So why is lesbian porn more intriguing than straight porn?For starters, this depends on your gender. Men may find it hotter for different reasons than women find it appealing. To really delve into the psychology behind the attraction, well need to take a look at these reasons separately.Why men find lesbian porn to be way hotter than straight pornThis is a heavily known fact: most men are extremely attracted to a woman getting frisky with another woman. The unanswered question is: why?1 Its something foreign to them. Most men dont walk around and see a couple of girls going at it on the street. So when theyre happily positioned behind their computers, its fascinating to them! Just like we girls flock to someone new who comes into town with an awesome accent, men flock to women getting naked with each other because its an uncommon occurrence to them. Read: The real reason behind why men drool watching two girls kiss 2 They want a taste of the forbidden fruit. Men love breaking the rules! And to them, some girl on girl action may be the closest they can get to the thrill of it. Since lesbians though not so much anymore are taboo in many cultures, men tend to get addicted to the feeling that theyre doing something wrong. And to a lot of them, being naughty is a huge turn on.3 Its a way for them to live out their fantasies. Only, theyre not really. Men who find lesbian porn way hotter than straight porn tend to be people who dont have the option to go out and find a couple of girls to watch andor take home. These men are probably in committed, and even happy, relationships. Watching lesbian porn lets them live in the fantasy of having two girls all over him, without jeopardizing anything else in his life. What could be hotter than seeing your fantasies come to life? Read: The best of both worlds How to date a bisexual woman 4 Two or more is better than one. This is the simplest fact that makes the most sense. If a guy is into naked girls, then seeing more naked girls is going to be a lot better than just seeing one. What straight male wouldnt want to see two sets of boobs rubbing all up on each other? Its way hotter to them than watching another naked man all over the girl.5 They can learn a thing or two. Not only is watching double the lady parts going to town a huge turn on, but they also get turned on because they can take what they see in lesbian porn and apply it to their own practices. Not much else turns a man on more than realizing hes watching something that can make him better in bed.Men have a competitive nature engraved into their genes, so the possibility of them being better than others really gets them going! This is also a major bonus for all of the significant others of lesbianwatching boy toys. Read: 10 reasons why guys love watching girls fight just as much as porn Why women find lesbian porn way hotter than straight pornStraight women being attracted to lesbian porn is probably a very little known fact. Truth is, we are! There are a number of reasons why women who arent necessarily attracted to girls would be into girls making love on screen.1 It appeals to their senses more. Women know what other women like. While watching lesbian porn, its way easier for women to picture, visualize, and imagine what the girl is doing to the other because they know that it feels good.Watching porn where a male is groping, squeezing, and slapping their way around a womans body just isnt a turn on because they know that its not something that actually feels good, no matter how loud the porn actress is moaning. Read: 10 popular moves from porn men do, but women absolutely hate 2 Its less degrading. Its really hard to stay in the mood when youre watching a man degrading and insulting a woman on screen. Even if its not real, its still a major turn off. Lesbian porn is way hotter to women because it seems more real and sultry something extremely sexy to ladies everywhere.3 Watching a man in action just isnt sexy. Sorry guys! As much as we love you, women dont want to watch your saggy balls flapping around and see wide shots of your skinny butts plastered across the computer screen. With lesbian porn, we find the women actresses much more attractive.I know this seems strange. If a woman is straight, how could she be attracted to the women? Hear me out. Just because a woman is straight, doesnt mean she cant find the women in lesbian porn to be attractive. The fact of the matter is, most of the time, women porn stars are WAY hotter than the men.I cant tell you how many times Ive clicked on a straight porn video and have been bombarded with gross, hairy, unkempt men. In the terms of a man: boner kill! At least in lesbian porn, the women are more likely to be wellgroomed and attractive. Read: 10 reasons why women dont admit to watching porn in real life 4 It plays to a womens fantasies. Straight porn seems to be equipped with long blow jobs and minimal foreplay on the womens end. Honestly, women arent turned on by watching another woman bobbing up and down on a dudes crotch.A womans fantasy to be held, kissed, and given attention makes lesbian porn extremely attractive to women. When they get to see all of the things they lust for being brought to life, it gets their engines fired up way more! Read: 9 easy ways to know if you could be bicurious 5 They feel extra naughty watching it. Just like men like to feel naughty, so do women! The notion that a woman watching lesbian porn is wrong just makes it feel that much more right. Everyone has the desire to be a rulebreaker every once in a while, and watching a couple of hot chicks grinding on each other definitely makes a straight woman feel like shes doing something shes not supposed to. Major panty soaker!Want to get in on the action?For you newbie lesbian porn watchers, or for those of you looking for some new stuff, have a look at some of these tasteful and popular sites. Read: 25 common porn myths many people still believe 1 ArtsErotica is a website tailored to making romantic porn best suited for women!2 Lesbea is a very wellorganized site that has everything you could want videos, photos, actress bios, behind the scenes footage, and more.3 FrolicMe has beautiful porn stars that create intimate and sultry content.Read: 13 sensual nonporn movies that will turn you on big time! No matter your gender, you cant help but find lesbian porn appealing. If youre finding yourself in the mood to watch some people making each other feel good, youll most likely find that a couple of gorgeous women fooling around will fit your needs more so than a girl on guy flick.Liked what you just read? Like us on Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Trying to be provocative eh? Not gonna work, I stand by what I said.0November 4, 2016Cocoyeah thats typically slutty behavior but they feel enough secured and turned on you have open and free bedroom 2424h. I guaranty you0November 12, 2013Ray Wolfsonthis is BS in LTRs Ive been in 4 out of 4 women, from very different backgrounds, became complete nymphos and couldnt get enough, admitted to masturbating sometimes even though we had sex 23 times a day, and were often waking me up with oral and asking why they couldnt give me more oral three or four men could have still left them hungry for more. one of my partners used to ask me to jump her every morning, she said she loved being woken up with the cock already in another demanded to try anal sex for the first time when i returned from a business trip and kept demanding it.i cant count the number of weekends ive stayed in bed from 10pm friday to 8am monday just fucking and sleeping and fucking and sending her to the kitchen to bring me food..if you pleased a girl until she passes out, youve never really had one at all and once you do, they just never stop coming back for more.until they wake up one morning and think hey i must have quite a value supplying all this free pussy, let me see what its worth to him. bye bye..0November 13, 2013A guyRay: yes yes weve all heard the story of that one nympho you banged every day. Guess what, weve all been there, done that, at some period in our lives. until they wake up one morning and think hey i must have quite a value supplying all this free pussy, let me see what its worth to him. bye bye..Bingo. See, a guy would never say that. If sex was as enjoyable to her as it was for a guy, shed keep doing it even if she got nothing else out of it. And thats the kicker.0November 13, 2013Ray Wolfsoni think they enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more. its just tied to emotional issues and moral at first you are her prince and she wants to do anything to satisfy you and gets great pleasure and happiness from doing solater she sees you in a weaker moment, angry, business loss, car trouble, flu, any minor detail brings you down a notch in her eyes especially if that starts to create any kind of conflict or tension between the two of youshe knows sex is her commodity in the situation, so if your stock price drops, she sees an opportunity to leverage hers women are opportunists and no player or prince charming can keep up the pretenses permanently..women are always keen to know if you love them, and there is a good reason for this love is the fuel that keeps an LTR in that cosy illusory state even when times are rough it means you wont walk out the door because she has a bad hair daybut women are much more fickle with their requirements to maintain love i guess you could say they are more sensitive to changes and more likely to rethink their situationthen of course they revert to doing what they do so well, playing hard to get, being bitchy and difficult, being evasive, and using sex as a bargaining chip or outright as a weapon by cheating or insinuating itat this point you are basically screwed there are redpill sites that focus on LTRs, but once the tables are turned and shes seen she can win she will always try to out do youwhere men get in LTRs and assume the status quo is fixed, a woman will when she sees an opening go for command and control she becomes miserable and so do you0November 4, 2016Cocowe can say when it works well, women enjoy much more sex that men definitely. And she has almost no limit. But yeah I would say men are like more stable sexually . I think pills kills the female sexual hormones maybe to rise the price for available wet pussies , another new conspiracy? 0November 13, 2013J.M.None of us can actually validate and generalize such experiences for a very simple reasonthanks to contraception, the sexual market is highly distorted, not so long ago only sterile women could be nymphos since in no time they would get knocked out and would be taking care of a baby in a few months. Since the absence of such outcome is nowadays reality, humans are not operating in what would be called a natural environment and are not experiencing a natural behavior. Whether you like it or not women and men have different sexual drive, most men are hornier than most women most of the time.Not that I cannot enjoy modern circumstances but I understand they are contranatura.0November 13, 2013Ray Wolfsoni honestly think that is a stereotype. from my experiences when a women is open and firing especially inside a relationship situation they are just as much if not more into sex.they come after you, which is the way it should beits when you start approaching them and assuming sex as a given that they clam up, especially if your status has slipped in her eyes. they go back to their default.women reassess, and for precisely the reasons you have given and considering thousands of years of human social and psychological evolution, they are much better at switching the sex off, and their reasons can quite often be trivial, emotionally based or plain spiteful.sex is the fuel that fires an LTR, and lets say you have a row ideally youd get all that tension out with sex, but due to sex being tied to a whole shopping list of parameters in her mind she can easily turn it off.. which more often than not is the wrong solution for both of you.women with birth control inside an LTR need to learn (and be persuaded) to be ultra slutty with their husbands it would cure a lot of problems.also what can happen is.. if you are both used to 23 times a day, any man can handle it, his level wont change.but you have an off month, a row that takes a couple of weeks to calm down from, or just away, apart, sick, working too much etc. and cant maintain it. her FTL drive so to speak is no longer spooled up.just like going to the gym the fitness level drops her horn quietly switches offand does much faster than yours. simply because it hasnt been maintainedthe question is maintaining it and also taking good breaks0November 4, 2016Cocoyes the concept of the switching the sex off button is good idea. unfortunately we dont have it0

Editorial ReviewsReviewG. positions her book in part as cultural analysis of pornographys complicated but inextricable relationship to social movements like feminist and queer visibility . . . Marvelous. Meghan Daum, The New York Times Book ReviewAll of you . . . buy Lynseys book and then read itvery publicly! On the subway! Anywhere! So the word porn gets out there and people are a lot more comfortable with it! Cindy Gallop, from The Strand Bookstores A Feminist Look at Adult Entertainment panelWatching Pornis ahumorous, thoughtprovoking account of five prolific years in Lynseys porn journalism career . . . and a kaleidoscope of broader themes: the impact the Internet has had on the industry the paradoxical divide between gay and straight porn and the revolutionary genres of queer and feminist porn. Kim Hedges, BUSTWhile written as a memoir,Watching Pornalso operates on another level as cultural analysis and explores how challenging it can be for women to function in the worlds most provocative, triggering and debated industryand one that has historically marginalized them. PlayboyEnticing . . . Lynsey G. deconstructs the medium and its global fanfare, exploring how people enjoy, and often simultaneously deny, smut. Hers is a project laden with humor, incisive insights, and titillating, winking bawdiness. . . . A provocative feminist commentary. ForeWord ReviewsA young, vivacious, sexuallyrepressed feminist gets a job watching porn. Hijinks ensue . . . Lynsey G.s wry, informed and nonjudgmental writing about pornography, and the adult industry is a breath of fresh air, cleverly portrayed by a writer who once generated euphemisms for pneumatic breasts. Her book deals equally and fairly with the erotic, the morally challenging, and the business sides of the adult film market, inviting readers along on her adventures through slippery movies, sexy parties and societys conflicted relationship with sex on camera. Along the way, Lynsey takes a rock hard sledgehammer to most misinformed assumptions and biases against one of humanitys oldest art formspornography.Watching Pornis a valuable and insightfulcontribution to our ongoing dialogue about the role that porn holds in society today, and what role we believe it should hold, in a responsible and ethical formulation of modern sexuality. David Ley, Ph.D., author of Ethical Porn for DicksLynsey G. is an intrepid explorer, boldly going where few reporters have gone with such a critical eye: deep inside the real world of commercial sex. She finds the charm in the obscene, the humor in the lurid, and makes you wonder why you were ever scared of porn in the first place. Tina Horn, host of Why Are People Into That?! podcast and author of Love Not Given LightlyEasily the most charmingly informative book on the porn industry, Watching Pornfills a unique literary gap in the Porn Studies canon.Through it, she tackles some of the current industry discussions: What is feminist porn? What are ethical considerations on set? Why is there a debate about condoms? This is a book I can refer to all the journalists and students seeking to understand this elusive and oft misunderstood film genre. Jiz Lee, performer and editor of Coming Out Like a Porn StarWatching Pornis a feminists trip down the rabbit hole through a rapidly changing, surreal wonderland. Get your girlfriends together and discuss this book over a bottle of wine. May Ling Su, porn performer and author, MayLingSu.comLynsey offers a deeply personal and highly readable perspective of a porn fan who is critical of the genre, mixed with the insights of an industry insider.She documents and dissects the issues facing todays porn industry from a sex positive perspective, determined to look at all aspects of a complicated business without perpetuating stigma or the usual antiporn hysteria. She contrasts her experiences of mainstream US pornography with the growth of the feministethical porn industry and does a superb job of examining the diverse philosophies of fucking within this business.Watching Pornis a much needed view of the diversity of pornography today. Ms. Naughty, BrightDesire.comRead moreAbout the AuthorLynsey G. is a writerly type who has focused primarily on the intersection of pornography, feminism, and sexuality for the past decade as a reviewer, interviewer, critic, documentary filmmaker, and blogger. Her work across multiple genres and areas of interest has appeared in publications including Glamour, Refinery29, BUST, McSweeneys Internet Tendency, andBitch magazine.

5 Lies I Believed When My Husband Was Watching Porn Written by April MabreyBefore I start, I want to be very clear as to why I believed these lies. I swallowed them hook, line, and sinker because the idol of my heart was my husband and not God.I required my husbands approval and looked to him as my compass and guide because of insecurities that I was unwilling to discuss with Christ. It is because of these unrealistic expectations I placed on our relationship that I chased after these lies and accepted them as a reality in my life.My husband never verbalized any of this, it was purely my own insecurity that led me to believe that if I could only change in some way, I could maintain control of the outcomethis was the ultimate lie.1. The girl my husband really wants has no desires or needs of her own, so I should abandon mine.To have needs means Im demanding. The women in pornography, on the other hand, dont require anything of the participant. It is a very one sided act. It is all about him. Therefore, if I try making our life all about my husband and leave my needs at the door he wont need pornography anymore.Where did he want to eat for dinner? What movie did he want to see? I even went so far as to buy roller hockey gear and drive with him out to a dark, damp roller rink an hour away at 11 p.m. on a weeknight to play a sport I knew or cared nothing about. Our life revolved around him and his needs, which in turn gave me a false sense of security. I didnt want to be labeled demanding so I became Darrens wife with one sole purposenot to have an identity of my own.2. The girl he really wants is passive, so I shouldnt get angry or have an opinion about his addiction.To have an opposing opinion means Im controlling. The women in pornography do what theyre asked. There are no additions or subtractions to the mans request. They just passively follow through with no hesitation or questioning. I found myself trying to deny my real feelings and emotions about my husbands addiction in order to be attractive to him.They were these beautiful, wishgranting beauties and I was the nagging old hag who wanted to talk about the bank account and his browsing history. How could I win this battle? I didnt want to be labeled controlling so I enabled him over and over again in order to satisfy my need to feel loved and wanted.3. The girl he really wants will do anything, so I better step up my game.To not want to have his kind of sex means Im frigid. The women in pornography have seen it all and done it all. Intimacy and tenderness are not on the menu. I felt that I needed to fulfill or at least try anything he asked of me in order for him not to use porn.There were many times where he played into my fear of his addiction being my faultif we were together more often he wouldnt have these issues. There were many years where I just willed myself to be with him because I couldnt stand the guilt of making his addiction return or worsen. I was dying a little each dayhe had no idea or capacity to care. I was emotionally vacant, but at least I wasnt frigid.DOWNLOAD HOPE AFTER PORN4. The girl he really wants only has one dimension, so I should abandon my personal dreams or goals.Wanting to set goals for myself or plan out and pursue a dream of mine means Im too independent. I had become so enmeshed into what my husband wanted that my dream actually became for him to fulfill all of his dreams.This was not his requirement of me. I just started believing it one day. I started realizing that he looked at women in 1D, so to speak. They had no backstories, no history, no dreams. None of that interested him, so it seemed silly for me to focus on any of that in my own life. My husband had no need for an independent wife. My goal was to meet his needs so that he wouldnt reject or abandon me, which was a core fear for me most of my life.5. The girl he really wants has long legs, a flat tummy, and enormous breastsuh oh.Well, Im a chunky, 51 brunette who has to shop in the kids department for jeans. This one is gonna be a problem, right? In true form, I gave it my all. Extensions, blonde highlights, nail salons, low cut shirts, diet plans, lipo, push up brasthe list goes on and on.I tried to satisfy his gourmet tastes, but now I know that porn creates an insatiable appetite that cannot be satisfied. I started realizing that I was just a normal woman who would be too flat, too fat, too old, or too average to compete with the likes of Internet porn. I became tired and defeated, disgusted with my body image and angry toward anyone who was tall, thin, or beautiful.The Truth That Sets Me FreeHe was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)A lie is the truth distorted. Pornography is a lieits a distortion of the truth. There is no woman that has ever been born who meets all the criteria that Ive written above. Chasing that shadow is an endless game that leaves you desperate and bitter.When the person youre living with looks at you through distorted eyes, it distorts your ability to know who you are: a Princess of the Most High God. God has created you to have dreams and resolve and strength. You are precious to Him and you hold great value in His eyes. His eyes are the only ones who can help you see yourself as you really are, and by the renewing of your mind through His word, I pray that you come to understand your own brokenness, your own need for change, and most importantly your need of a Savior.About the author, April MabreyApril Mabrey is a wife, a corporate mom to twins, homeschooler, speaker, and Covenant Eyes blogger. April loves to share the story of how God has dramatically redeemed her past and restored her marriage .View all posts by April Mabrey Hope After PornPorn use (and even adultery) doesnt always mean that a marriage is over. Get this free ebook to read how four betrayed wives found healing for themselves and for their marriages.151 thoughts on 5 Lies I Believed When My Husband Was Watching PornAJMarch 18, 2013 at 8:59 pmI read this right after falling into the quick and easy temptation of porn. Ive struggled with this off and on through my young adult life. I realize after reading this that I am becoming that self absorbed shadow of a person that you described. I do try to love my girl and I try to stay away from porn but it still comes back. I can easily see myself falling further down the path of caring only about me. I realize that, subconsciously, I want a care free woman. I suppose I can put that down to the times in my earlier years when women turned me down or even cheated on me, but the responsibility is mine. Having a carefree woman that I dont need to be concerned of may be a weird fantasy, but there is nothing of love in it. I want to be a loving man. I dont care if I have to chuck my laptop out the window I want to be a loving man. The internet makes this sin soooooo easy. There is nothing technology can do to prevent my finding these images. But the responsibility remains mine. I pray that God show me how to ditch this habit for good, not just for a month or two intervals. Thank you for sharing the horror of what you went through, it may have prevented another horror from happening.April 10, 2014 at 8:20 amI knew I needed to give up porn also. The hardest part for me was the images that were left behind. I would go to that mental bank in my mind and view them as needed :( I found God calling me to prayas soon as a pornographic image came to mind I would pray for that person, particularly the woman in the situation. God changed me through this he healed me and still is healing me. I pray frequently for those that are caught up in prostitution, which is what pornography is, and my perception has changed, porn no longer sexually arouses me. Thank you God!!! I am a woman. I was introduced to pornography at a very young age and I have struggled with the addiction on and off for years. I can say I am free now. Prayer works and when you begin to view the temptresstempter as another one of Gods lost souls you can feel differently about them love them in the way Christ commands us to love one another! Praise God! He is amazing and he can save those that are lost we are called to pray for them!EdnaJune 29, 2017 at 9:16 pmI am living the nightmare.. my husband watches porn has toys dating sites.. like craigslist.. I am ashamed to say.. reading his emails I found him also a cross dresser.. he enjoys sex with multiple partners.. almost 3 years.. since I found out and wont stop.. he has done this for years.. but I have lost my mind .. I guess he is bisexual.. but I c it more gay.. thank you for listening!Kay BrunerJune 30, 2017 at 12:17 pmHi Edna,I am so so sorry for the pain youre experiencing right now. I would suggest that you find a therapist , just for you, someone who can help you process these emotions and consider what healthy boundaries will look like for you in these circumstances. Here , here , and here are some articles on boundaries to help you get started. You can also find great resources for support online at Bloom. No matter what your husband chooses, you can choose to be healthy and whole, just for you. You dont have to lose your mind you can make healthy choices for yourself, and I hope that you will.Peace to you,March 20, 2013 at 11:10 pmAs you have so powerfully put it, pornography is a lie.I think most men know it is not healthy to watch porn. However, most men started their compulsion with porn in their teen years. Before the brain has had a chance to fully developed is the time that most addictions and compulsions are formed. Unfortunately, these habits follow men into their adulthood.I think if you ask men, that regularly watch porn, if they have tried to quit porn. I think most would say yes. And most likely they have tried numerous times.If a man is given effective strategies and activities on how to quit porn, they would most like want to try. The challenge is trying to convince the man that it is possible.Good luck with your efforts.May 26, 2017 at 12:54 amMy husband thinks that I am wrong for asking him to stop watching porn. It simply makes me feel insecure. I feel like he looks at women as pornographic images. He imagines them naked.He loves looking at petite teen porn. I am 36 years old, tall, and chunky. How can I compete?Kay BrunerMay 26, 2017 at 11:03 amHi Jaime,You shouldnt have to compete. You are a whole, beloved, valuable person, no matter what size, shape or age. You should be in relationships with people who are capable of treating you with the respect you deserve as Gods precious imagebearer.I think youve got to consider your boundaries . Is this the kind of relationship you want to be in, with a grown man who looks at naked children for fun? (Id call the police, myself.)Find a counselor who can help you process your emotions and build healthy boundaries. Seriously, if hes downloaded child pornography, that is a felony. Dont be an accomplice to a crime.Peace to you,January 19, 2014 at 6:42 pmNo you are not. I pray that you strength your self in God and his live for you through Jesus Christ. The problem of Porn dont come alone, its hard to deal with the consequences of it in the marriage May God bless you.IMay 13, 2014 at 4:01 pmThis has been helpful to see that I am not alone in this. Just recently I broke down because I found on my husbands phone porn sites and lots of them in the history. I thought we had settled this a few years ago when I discovered his porn tendencies and expressed my desire that we should separate because I did not feel I was enough for him. He went through the apology route and told me how much he loved me and he would not hurt me like that again. I struggled thru mothers day weekend on how to approach him again. We went to visit both our mothers over the weekend and I had to keep control and not break down in front of our families. When we got home Sunday night, I just could not hold it together anymore the everything is ok deal I went to take a bath and collect my thoughts on how I was going to address my discoveries. He came in the bathroom a few minutes later and found me crying. He pushed for us to talk immediately, but I told him we would talk later because our son (age 9) was still up and the conversation we needed to have was not something I wanted our son to over hear. I could see panic in his eyes at not knowing what the discussion was going to be about so he rushed to have our son get ready for bed (which it was time for him to get ready for bed anyway). When we kissed our son good night we went down stairs and I started the conversation with letting him know that at first I was very angry and then that turned into sadness because I realized I was not enough for him and told him I didnt think I had ever been. Im not a skinny person and I could never be those women he searched for and watched. He then told me that I was wrong that I was enough for him and then he said that he had been having ED problems and he was searching for answers as to why this was happening and said the sites with the medications have links to such sites (which for some reason he at this point I think he thinks Im dumb) Im crushed by this of course. He tries to reassure me that I am everything to him and in no way has he ever cheated on me, but to me he may not have physical contact but I still feel betrayed and that in someone he did cheat. This as you can imagine is not a pleasant or easy conversation to have. Im at a loss, I want to believe him but when I look back on our past and his weakness as he called it this has been happening for years. We have been beee married for 17 years, but together for 24 years in all. I dont know what to believe from him anymore. I our sexlife has not been great. It used to be but then it dimished to once a week and then maybe once or twice a month. I am not one of those wives who does not enjoy sex, because I do. I love being with my husband. He said he tried to tell me some time ago about the ED problems but he wasnt really clear on the issue. He would say his mind is all for it but his body wasnt. He tells me that my appearance does not matter, that he loves me for me on the inside and out. But my question is if it doesnt matter then why would you be looking for skinny women? He then tells me that its like what our paster said its not real. But it is REAL even if you think its a fantasy it is real because they are real people and you are watching LIVE cams. I fell lost and frustrated and heartbroken. I just not sure what we should do next. I doubt he would go to counseling. I dont know truth anymore.Lisa EldredMay 14, 2014 at 10:49 amFirst things first understand that your husbands problem has nothing to do with you. I know nothing of his personal situation, of course, but it may be that he stumbled across porn as a kid and has been living in secrecy for so long that he doesnt know how to handle it anymore. Itll be hard, but Id also believe him when he says he loves you men tend to be good at compartmentalizing, and he probably thinks of his porn use as something completely separate from his relationship with you.Of course, even if you believe him, that doesnt mean that you should just accept his behavior. Youll want to set boundaries for your healing and conditions for your marriage with the goal of reconciling to him and strengthening your relationship. Start by reading Porn and Your Husband , which will give you a starting point for boundarysetting, among other things. You may also want your husband to read it weve heard stories from men who have read it and had a much better understanding of how their porn use was hurting their wives.You also mentioned ED problems. Many porn users have reported ED as a result of porn use abstaining from porn helped fix it. Id have your husband read The Porn Circuit for a better understanding of the changes porn makes to his brain chemistry and biology.Stay strong, and cling to God! Hes brought many marriages through this, and theyve come out stronger in the end. I pray that the same will be true for you.January 12, 2015 at 5:44 pmi accidently discovered my husband watching porn, it wasnt the porn that hurt me it was the fact that he looked at me in the eyes and lied. i trusted him with everything i still do but my feelings have changed for. we have only been married 6 months and he downloads it to extreme, he now knows its out of control and is trying to do something about it bt while i wait im going into depression, i feel shit about myself when before i was very confident, his opinion matters to me, i get jealous. the more he watches porn the less i feel anything im turning into a stone, my feelings are changing and i dnt want it to change. he did other things which i didnt know before the wedding, i wish he would just come and tell. whatever happened was his past but i have the right to know im gona be spending the rest of my life with this man that i thought i knew when in fact i had no idea. he said he was gona do something about it and the next day he downloaded another 200 videos. i need help, i cant talk to anyone about it and i have told him its killing me, i cried, upset over it for weeks and he doesnt even care. what do i do, i actually attempted suicide even looked for poison bt couldnt get my hands on it., he says he loves me so why does he watch it? it has only been 6 months? i dressed up for him every friday which he said not to do anymore, where am i going wrong,, i knw its not my fault bt it hurts. i have known this secret for 3 months and every day it just kills me little by little. when i go to my parents for the night he masturbates to it now to me thats cheating, why cant he see that? why doesnt he care about me i never forced him to marry me? why cant he just stop watching it for my sake, when is that day gona come when he puts an end to it, is it ever gona come? i hate it when someone tells me every man watches it coz i know for a fact they dont. i am planning on never having kids coz i never want another human being to go through what i am going through, it may seem small but when the person u love does something to hurt u it kills and is the worst pain (Kay BrunerJanuary 13, 2015 at 11:44 amHey there. I am so, so sorry for the pain youre in right now. Im glad you found us here and had the courage to write in. I want to tell you that, as terrible as this pain is right now, you can absolutely find healing and hope. Whatever your husband chooses, healing is there for you.First and foremost, I am concerned about your level of pain, and the isolation you are feeling. I want to make sure that you are getting the support that you need as you walk this journey. I would recommend that you look for a counselor in your area and begin meeting with that person immediately. Also, I think you would benefit from a spouse support group at Pure Desire (if thats available in your area), xxxChurch , Sex Addicts Anonymous , or Celebrate Recovery . I would also encourage you to think about who you can talk with about thissome safe friend or family member who can support you through it.I know you know that this is NOT about you! It sounds to me like your husband has had this habit for a long time. Its not about how you look or how you behave or how sexy you are. This is about HIM. And it will be up to HIM to change it.With the level of use you are describing, it sounds like your husband will have a LOT of work to do! I would hope that he (1) gets his internet filtered, monitored, and generally cleaned up right away (2) gets into a group like Pure Desire, xxxChurch, Sex Addicts Anonymousanything really to help him be accountable on a regular basis. He would probably benefit from personal counseling as well. It will be a tough battle, no doubt, and it will be up to him to commit to that and do the work.Heres an article I wrote a while back about what it looks like when a guy takes responsibility for himself, and heres a listing of more articles for women with questions like yours. And heres the link to our free download, Hope After Porn , where several women talk about their experience in recovery with their husbands.I hope some of those things help you consider a healthy way forward in this. Im praying for you right now, that youll find exactly the right connections to help you through. Please keep in touch and let us know how we can help further. Blessings, KaymelisaJuly 31, 2016 at 11:34 amI know the feeling my husband does not even ask me if I want to have sex if he wants any he just gets in pissy mood and when I ask whats wrong says I am going watch porn if you got problem with it oh well I then even go as far as say ok why not have sex with me while watching and he says what I have to have sex with you or I cant watch it so not sure how to feel havesexhe usually just goes to bed pissed at me or what hes porn either way I am left out and feeling like I am nothing to himKay BrunerAugust 1, 2016 at 10:37 amIm so sorry, Melisa. I would encourage you to find a counselor who can help you process these painful emotions and also work on healthy boundaries. You can read more about boundaries here and here . Your marriage relationship should reflect your value as a person! Peace to you, KayKareinI too, am struggling with how to trust. I have no one to talk to, because I dont want to put thoughts of horrific imagery and unending heartache on anyone.Kay BrunerHey there. You might appreciate the website, Bloom, where you can join private forums with other women and also take recovery classes and find lots of great resources. Peace to you, KayKimberly SaulsJuly 13, 2017 at 12:39 pmnot changed and maybe wont ever.My biggest problem is realizing I did all of these things, made him number one even made a fool of myself trying to dress up as a hot schoolgirl, and even though I see it all now I am lost with 5 children endured his addictions, his abuse mental and physical and have no self esteem , feel like I have lost myself and I am trying to find my out of this depression but its hard and unless people have been through it you cant understand it,he thinks I can just get over it but after 15 years of pain and sticking by someone for them to turn on you and make claims so that they dont feel guilt is enough for me to know it time for a divorce. I was never perfect but I was sure close to perfect in loving him but you can only take so much ,until you get to a place that makes you realize , maybe he doesnt deserve me,maybe its time I love myself and be me not just Roberts wife. I could never love anyone else he has my whole heart forever,but Id rather be alone and able to enjoy this beautiful world with my kids , Life is short you know.Im do tired of seeing women torn not changed and maybe wont ever.My biggest problem is realizing I did all of these things, made him number one even made a fool of myself trying to dress up as a hot schoolgirl, and even though I see it all now I am lost with 5 children endured his addictions, his abuse mental and physical and have no self esteem , feel like I have lost myself and I am trying to find my out of this depression but its hard and unless people have been through it you cant understand it,he thinks I can just get over it but after 15 years of pain and sticking by someone for them to turn on you and make claims so that they dont feel guilt is enough for me to know it time for a divorce. I was never perfect but I was sure close to perfect in loving him but you can only take so much ,until you get to a place that makes you realize , maybe he doesnt deserve me,maybe its time I love myself and be me not just Roberts wife. I could never love anyone else he has my whole heart forever,but Id rather be alone and able to enjoy this beautiful world with my kids , Life is short you know. down by men ,dont be like me and wait 15 yearsfor an ounce of care or adoration from a man that isnt capable of real love , if you face this and he doesnt respect you enough to go to counseling,or stop,or try to make you feel better after showing true remorse than he never will and it gets worse ,did for mine he quit his job, he started abusing me,he started looking and younger and younger girls etc. Talk to someone or get counseling,I hid my problems and never had anyone but him and it can make you lose your mind and get trapped in a depression you cant crawl out of, I pray for anyone struggling with this issue or similar I know how painful it is and you are NOT ALONE, reach out ,its his problem not yours you are beautiful and dont let any man make you feel like you are notArianeMarch 26, 2013 at 5:39 pmI believed the first four lies completely, which is way more insidious, because I kept telling myself that his problem with me (and the overall problem with our marriage) was simply MEthe internal me, not the external me. I hated myself for not measuring up to being a good Christian wife, even though I did everything I could think of to please God, my husband, and the Christian community. My own sickness was such that I was on a relentless quest to be a nearperfect Christian wife who interceded constantly for not only for my husband, but our five children. In retrospect, I know that I would have never gotten what I so desperately wanted from him, which was emotional and spiritual intimacy. How could I have gotten this from someone who had short circuited his own ability to be intimate with his heavenly father? The psychological damage that I allowed to be inflicted on me and that I inflicted on myself had everything to do with my personal worth and identity in Christ. I am just beginning to heal after a 25 year marriage and the fallout of a divorce five years ago. You know, in some strange way, I still am blaming myself. That tells you how deep these lies go.

Why Cant I Stop Watching Porn? 3 Reasons Its Hard to Quit Written by John DoyelIwant to stop watching porn. No really, I want to quit. I have made promises. I have tried fresh starts on the New Year. I have even gone forward in church, gotten down on my knees, and begged God to help me stop watching it.However, like adog that returns to its vomit, I find myself back online watching porn. What is the real problem? Is God deaf to my prayers? Am I not a Christian? Is God just tormenting me for my sexual impurity? Will I ever be able to stop watching porn? Because based on my past it seems impossible.Porn addiction is an extremely complex issue with no simple answers or cookie cutter solutions. Most men fall into what I call the Zap Trappraying that God would just heal them, and they will be able to stop watching porn without having to fight the fight of recovery.Could God do that? Well, sure He can do anything.However, in working with hundreds of men over the past ten years, I have learned that He rarely does an instant healing in this area. So, lets look at three main reasons why it is so hard to quitlooking at porn.Reason1Porn is addictive.Apart from the spiritual battle you are in by simply being a Christian, you are in a physical battle with a physical addiction. You have literally become a drug addict. The drugs you are addicted to are those released in your brain when you become sexually aroused.God designed those drugs asa wonderful part of His plan to bonda husband and wife as one during times of sexual intimacy. They all have a distinct purpose and are marvelously effective. However, your brain does not differentiate between having sex with your wife or havingsex withporn. The same drugs are released with the same effect. Pleasure, focus, energy, release, and other things happen which make having an orgasm one of the most enjoyable things God has given to us.We like it. We like it a lot. So, we want it again and again. With that experience accessiblein a five minute trip to the bathroom with your smart phone, we start using it more frequently. When we get stressed. When we get angry. Or when we want escape fromproblems, we can easily get a fix that does not fix anything.Dopamine, testosterone, norepinephrine, oxytocin, and serotonin flood our brains, and we feel good for a while. Then shame and fear return, and it is not long before we want another escape.Christians who cant stop watching porn do not like it when I tell them they are drug addicts, but that is the truth. The drugs are between their ears. They do not need a pusher. Their drugs are basically free of charge and are extremely effective. We can now access whatever things we want to view and get a quick fix within a few seconds.Also we can walk out of wherever we justacted out and seem fine to everybody. No hangover. No trace of what you have done unless you forget to delete your history.To break free from this addiction takes a lot of work and most men are not ready to fight that battle. Especially due to reason number two.Reason 2We remain in isolation.How many people know about your secret struggle? You simply cannot tell anyone because you might lose your job, your friendships, your wife, and your family. People will drop dead in shock because everyone thinks you have it all together, and so that pressure keeps the truth buried deep in your darkest places. You feel trapped because you are in a prison of your own making.I know this from experience. I was a pastor for 26 years and struggled with a sexual addiction for eight long years. I hated myself. I did many sexual sins, and there was no way I could just say to my wife and my board, By the way, I am addicted to sex. However, God in His mercy revealed my secret life and my recovery began in September 2005. Talk about a train wreck and painfully injuring my wife and our four adult kids.Remaining in isolation makes it seem impossible to stop. Recovery demands confession, disclosure, coming clean, and genuine repentance. If I had been a better and braver man I would have stepped forward and asked for help. But I lived in denial and minimized my actions by telling myself I knew enough to be able to stop.At 180 Ministries , we saythatalone sheep is a dead sheep.If you remain in isolation, you are a dead man. Satan prowls around seeking whom he may devour, and you are an easy target. The sin that so easily entangles you has its hooks in deep, and you will need a team of people to help you pull the hooksout and stop watching porn. Your daily choices allow sin to be your master, and the father of lies has you dancing like a puppet on a string.To make it through a withdrawal period of about 90 days, you need people available to you on a constant basis and you need to learn how toreach out to them when the whole temptation process to watch porn begins. We like to say reach out before you reach in. Reach out to your team before you reach into your pants.The opposite of isolation is community. Scripture has a lot to say about community and our ministry was founded on this passage in 1 John 1,This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light in him there is no darkness at all.If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from allsin.Fellowship is community. It is being daily connected to other men to help you fight the battle. How many armies send their troops out alone to fight the enemy alone? None. Stupid question. So why are you trying to fight it alone? Lone sheep are dead sheep.Reason 3We dont take it seriously.It is so easy to say to yourself that everybody is doing it. It is not such a big deal. Are you kidding me? Porn use is destroying families and marriages at an alarming rate. God says sexual sin is a big deal. He calls us to purity and holiness. He has started a good work in us and plans to finish that work but if we are walking in sexual sin we grieve and stifle the Spirit within us and will continue to be pulled into deeper areas of sin.Every Monday night about 100 men gather at our church because their sexual sin has and is ruining their lives. They cannot stop and are heading into very dangerous and dark waters. We lie to ourselves when we think that we can handle it. If that is the case, why are you reading this article? Why are the statistics saying that over 50 of all Christian men are addicted to porn?Did you see the cover of Timeon March 31, 2016? They found that Millennials who have used porn over the years are experiencing erectile dysfunction because they have trained their brains to see sex as something you do online. So, when it comes time to have a real relationship they fail to answer the call.Are you aware of the rise and prevalence of sex trafficking around the world?We need daily encouragement tostop watching pornI believe with all my heart that the answer to stop watching porn is found in Gods Word. He calls us to community with no condemnation. He wants all of us to be connected and truthful with one another (and Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability can help with this). We need to do as James says. We need to confess our sins to one another, pray for each other and then healing can begin to come.Lastly, we need encouragement. Look at this passage in Hebrews 3:See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sins deceitfulness.We need encouragement every day or we will be hardened by sins deceitfulness. For this reason,I began writing emails to encourage believers struggling with sexual sin. Six days a week I encourage people all over the country, and you can receive that encouragement as well. Just email me at doyelme.com, and Ill add you to the list.About the author, John DoyelAfter 26 years in full time ministry John Doyel resigned his position as Senior Pastor in 2005 because of hissexual brokenness. For the past 10 years he has dedicated himselfto helping men recover from sexual sin and return to God. He writes daily emails of encouragement to help believers recovercalled 180 Recover because we are told to encourage one another daily as long as it is called today. He also lead a recovery ministry at Vineyard Columbus called 180: Helping Sexually Broken Believers Return to God .View all posts by John Doyel Your Brain on PornWatching just 5 hours of porn has been proven to significantly change peoples sexual beliefs and attitudes. Find out 5 distinct ways that porn warps your brain, as well as 5 biblical ways to renew your mind and find freedom.Email addressDo you use Covenant Eyes software to protect yourself online?This iframe contains the logic required to handle Ajax powered Gravity Forms.112 thoughts on Why Cant I Stop Watching Porn? 3 Reasons Its Hard to QuitMichelle MckayJanuary 31, 2017 at 1:46 pmmen who struggle with porn and ask to be healed need to also use their brains on how to rid it from their lives. remove computers, smartphones and all access to internet. do not go into gas stations that sell porn magazines. theres options. and as you do this pray also for strength. porn has lead my husband to leave me twice. And even though I know in my heart he still does it, theres nothing i can do. it dosnt matter how pretty or thin I gethe needs to choose.